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Ask a health coach: Primal Dating

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Hey folks, Board-Certified Health Coach Erin Power is here to answer your questions about Primal Dating. If you’re wondering when and how to ‘break the news’, we’ve got strategies, tips, and backup! Do you have a question you would like to ask our health coaches? Leave it below in the comments or in Mark’s Daily Apple Facebook group.

Cara asked:
“I’ve been Primal for a year and honestly I’ve never felt so good! In the beginning it was difficult, but now it comes naturally and I feel so much lighter. I’ve also lost 10 pounds, which doesn’t hurt! The problem: I’m just single and using dating apps. I don’t want to scare guys off by doing a lot of maintenance. Do I mention in my profile that I am Primal? Or wait until the first date? Or wait and see how it goes? Help out!”

Man and woman sharing food over dinner

First of all, congratulations on your year of Primal food and life, Cara! How wonderful that you feel lighter and better. Huge credit too for exploring this question and considering how food and lifestyle play a role in dating and relationships. Feeling healthy and more confident and comfortable in your body can be so appealing. It creates the kind of immersive aura that goes beyond “objective” indicators like body weight or beauty.

Not only that, but a little boost of confidence goes a long way when you get into the dating pool. Anyway, on the matter: how to navigate by declaring your Primal status to potential suitors.

Ask and tell. Or… don’t.

Today, it’s much more common for people to ask about their “eating identities” or preferences when they first eat with someone. While we’re focused on dating here, so are new friends, acquaintances, and co-workers. The thing is, it’s not uncommon these days to eat a certain way. That said, I totally understand how navigating conversations about food and lifestyle can be tricky in any relationship — perhaps all the more so when you’re just dating.

The good news is that you arrive with a clean slate and a fresh start. As a Primal Health Coach, I work with many clients who are making changes and have difficulty explaining their new Primal ways to partners, friends and family members. If it’s important to you, you’ll want to share this aspect of yourself with acquaintances, new and old.

But there’s another option: just don’t say anything at all. At least not right away. It may not be necessary.

The person you’re dating probably won’t notice that there’s something wrong with your eating habits. Ordering a big ass salad, a delicious steak, or a low-sugar cocktail at a restaurant won’t raise red flags. Do you decide to forgo the bread basket? No problem: even in non-Original circles, avoiding or limiting bread is becoming increasingly common.

Priorities and values

Furthermore, you probably want to be with someone whose priorities and values ​​are similar to yours. This doesn’t mean they have to embrace the 10 Primal Blueprint rules (but if they do, what a catch!). It does mean that you may want to ask yourself if they, like you, are interested in a healthy lifestyle and healthy eating. If they refuse a few healthy food choices, it could be a sign that they are not the right match for you.

Whatever you do, don’t enter into a new relationship with the expectation that the other person will eat. Accept where they are and, if it’s not aligned with a Primal lifestyle, decide if that’s okay with you or a deal breaker. Also know that modeling healthy eating without pressure or judgment is probably the best approach to encouraging change and getting people to give Primal a try.

By the way, eating and living in a way that makes you feel your best is NOT high maintenance. It is one of the most important, most impactful forms of self-care. Moreover, by supporting your own vitality and longevity, you are better able to stand up for others. Primal Eating clearly works for you. It would be a shame to let that slide for the sake of pretense of “low maintenance”. Don’t give up your own values.

Primal Dating Basics and Strategies

To summarize the basics:

  • Immediately acknowledge it as you would any other important, telling aspect of your character OR go with the flow and honor your Primal-ness without feeling the need to announce it at all.
  • Don’t try or expect to change anyone else.
  • Determine if your prospect’s priorities and values ​​align closely enough with yours.

I know that sometimes it seems easiest to just “go with it” rather than explaining what you’re eating and why. And just to be clear: don’t feel like you have to explain anything! Still, leaning on the above basis makes for good policy. It will likely increase your chances of finding a perfect match…and the chances that it will last.

Along with the above, make it easier on yourself! Try these 3 simple tips:

1. Go out for dinner.

If new dating means dining out, make sure you have strategies in place. The free Primal and Keto guide to eating out is a good start. In addition, suggest restaurants or food trucks that have Primal options that you will enjoy. By being able to order separately, you no longer have to eat the same as your partner.

2. Pack a picnic.

You can also offer to cook at home or bring a picnic! This provides a perfect opportunity to ask about the other person’s preferences and state your own preferences. It also ensures that you have tasty primal foods to enjoy no matter how the date ends.

3. Find a primordial date.

In addition to stating your dietary preferences in your online dating profile, you should also consider places where Paleo and Primal ideologies are more widespread. Find groups and events (online or in real life) on topics like keto, intermittent fasting, functional medicine, and biohacking.

Conferences like KetoCon or the Metabolic Health Summit are examples of large-scale health conferences where you are sure to find some Primal-bound allies. Gyms and Facebook groups are also a great place to start.

For Primal backup to navigate the dating pool while staying true to your wellness goals, I recommend hiring a coach. External responsibility really is a game changer and we can help you solve your specific circumstances and difficult social situations. By working with a coach for even a month or two, you can develop solid strategies for staying Primal while dating or hanging out with family and friends. Visit myprimalcoach.com to learn more and get started!

Do you come out as Primal when you first meet someone? Do you have Primal dating tips to share? Let us know and ask any other questions for me in the comments!

myPrimalCoach

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