While someone’s behavior and actions can sometimes affect your mood, only you can control your emotions.
We’ve all been there – those moments when we feel hurt about something someone said or did. When this happens, it’s easy to assume that the other person is responsible for making you feel this way.
Despite popular belief, no one can to make you feel something.
While other people can affect your mood, they are not responsible for your feelings. By changing the way you think, you can learn to control your mood and emotions.
Changing your mindset is a process that starts with awareness. The way you think can affect how you feel.
If you take a moment to identify your thinking patterns, you can understand why and how they affect you.
Sometimes your thoughts are not always directly related to the present and can be a confirmation of negative beliefs you have about yourself.
Learning to reframe these useless thoughts can help you see things differently, allowing you to consider the best possible outcome of a situation. It involves questioning your assumptions and asking yourself if there is any truth to it.
While you are primarily responsible for controlling your feelings, others are can affect your emotions. Some of this depends on how you want to feel.
A 2019 study suggested that your motivations may play an important role in the extent to which you allow others to influence your feelings. So if you think a situation calls for a certain response, it can affect the strength of your emotions.
This explains why some people react differently to the same situation. For example, while some may shrug off an unpleasant comment to remain calm, others may take offense and say something in anger to serve their point.
Just as you can control whether others can influence your emotions, you can also choose to accept how they make you feel.
As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.”
In other words, you are responsible for your feelings. If you already assume that you are someone who can feel inferior because of someone else, you are less likely to think otherwise.
How someone makes you feel ultimately determines what you think about yourself and what you choose to believe.
Just as other people can influence your emotions, your words and actions can influence theirs.
Your emotional state can create a domino effect, affecting everyone around you and people they come into contact with.
This happens regularly in workplaces. When a team member has a negative attitude, it can create a toxic work environment. The same goes for positive emotions.
According to a 2015 study, working with positive people can improve your performance. So if you’re in a good mood, you probably increase your team’s motivation.
You can also use your emotions as a tool to shape the outcome of a situation. You can express certain emotions to let someone know that you care or to help them feel more comfortable.
Your emotions can often be largely misunderstood. Learning the truth behind the most common myths can help reduce the confusion.
Myth 1: “I shouldn’t feel this way”
All too often we judge or criticize ourselves for feeling strong about something we consider unimportant. But there is no right or wrong way to feel. The key is to accept how you feel and understand how best to deal with it.
Myth 2: “But I Can’t Help How I Feel”
Your thoughts can have a profound effect on your emotions. It can affect how you feel and behave. When you become aware of your thoughts, you can shift the outcome to a positive one.
Myth 3: “Controlling my emotions is denying how I really feel”
People often see regulating emotions as an attempt to suppress how you initially feel. But that is not the case.
Sometimes emotions can become overwhelming. To manage them effectively, you need to strike a balance so that you don’t react in useless ways.
It’s not uncommon to feel hurt by certain things people sometimes say or do, but it’s manageable.
What you think directly affects how you feel and react. By changing your mindset, you can learn to deal with your emotions.
It is a process that requires some practice. But with a little time and patience you can handle it better.
Remember that you are primarily responsible for your feelings, which is why no one can make you feel anything.
If controlling your emotions becomes overwhelming, consider contacting a mental health professional. They can provide you with helpful tools and guide you through the next steps.
If you’re not sure where to start, check out Psych Central’s hub for finding mental health support.