Rooting for the Dallas Cowboys has become an arduous task. Even mentioning the Cowboys and post-season success in the same sentence is oxymoronic in the 21st century. Mississippi weather forecaster and weekend anchor Ethan Bird knocked one out of the park when he inserted a Cowboys joke into his 10-day forecast.
Even Cowboys fans had to LOL at that joke. Bird didn’t lie. He even points to Thursday’s temperature (96), which corresponds to the last time Dallas won a Super Bowl. mr. Bird crossed the line as smoothly as a jump shot from Larry Bird. Nothing but net.
Unfortunately, the truth in that joke is a bit hard on Cowboys fans. Although she’s still the most valuable team in the NFL, they have also become the longest-running punch line in the league. It’s a truth that Dallas can’t seem to escape no matter what they do.
Since Dallas’ last appearance in the sport’s biggest game in January 1996, 21 other organizations have played in at least one Super Bowl. The Cincinnati Bengals recently returned to the big game for the first time since ’89. This should be embarrassing for Jerry Jones, but he still makes a lot of money on “America’s team” anyway.
During the Jason Garrett era in Dallas, it felt like they went 8-8 every stinky season. Sure, there was a 12-win season and then a 13-win season for Garrett. But in Garrett’s first three full seasons as head coach of the Cowboys, the team finished 8-8 all three years. He even closed his last campaign in 2019 with a record of 8-8.
The Cowboys have had six head coaches since Barry Switzer left after the ’97 season. Legendary coach Bill Parcells couldn’t even take this franchise out of the wild card round during his four years in Dallas. Maybe it’s Jimmy Johnson’s curse that’s been holding the Cowboys back for so long.
Johnson was unceremoniously fired after consecutive Super Bowl wins in ’92 and ’93. Switzer came in and Jones won another title with Jimmy’s roster, and it’s been a dry pit for the Cowboys in terms of championships ever since. Since Dallas’ last appearance, all but two of the NFC teams have played in at least one NFC championship game. The Detroit Lions and Washington Commanders are the only other NFC teams not to progress past the divisional round since ’96.
Still, every year like clockwork, a talking head chooses Dallas to go all out and regrets it in November. It’s remarkable how successful Jones has been in building the Cowboys brand over the past 25 years, when little of it could be seen on the field. Talk about transacting your business; Jerry has done that 10 times. It just hasn’t translated to success on the pitch, and that’s when you start launching jabs your way, like with Ethan Bird.
Breakout linebacker and Rookie of the Year Micah Parsons discovered this firsthand when he felt he would do better in an NBA Finals game than a real NBA player. It’s one thing to say that in jest, but to post it on Twitter is another. At that point you just ask.
Parsons was held accountable simply for playing for the Cowboys, and rightly so. Yes, he’s only been a year into what should be a long successful NFL career, but he’s playing for a franchise that should probably be banned from saying the word championship at this point. And that’s really the point when it comes to the Cowboys. They have become nothing more than America’s joke.