Fathers are needed to say no – the published Reporter®

Research on the impact of fatherless families on female children has received little recognition. File Photo: Fizkes, Shutter Stock, Licensed.

SPRING HILL, FL — The breakup of the patriarchal family is often seen as a major weakening of our society and generally detrimental to our nation. Usually, divorces end with the mother taking custody of the children. This leaves fathers powerless to make daily decisions about their children and banned from his children’s future. The divorced biological father has little to no rights to influence the development of his children.

Some of the culprits behind this injustice towards divorced fathers are child development experts. Their emphasis on the early childhood years has clearly placed the mother as the primary parent. This leaves fathers as practically unnecessary partners in the family, except as sperm donors and financial supporters of the family.

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The psychological ignorance of the father’s real importance in raising children has had a crippling effect on American families. One in four children in America lives in fatherless families. It is hard to imagine that experts fail to emphasize the important role of fathers in family dynamics. The experts often fail to notice that children from fatherless families have 85% more problems at school. Fatherless children also have higher rates of incarceration and mental health problems such as depression, low self-esteem, greater drug addiction, more suicide incidents, and poor relationship development. Essentially, there is a direct relationship between the absence of a father and both daughters and sons who struggle to become fully functioning adults.

Fathers are often the only ones who say: “no” to their children. They set boundaries in the early life of the child, which directly affects their appropriate behavior as a teenager. The consequences imposed by the father are usually more severe if the behavior is repeated as they can see that these actions will get their children into trouble. The father often focuses more on future development, while mothers focus on daily misbehaving and protecting the child’s feelings.


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Research on the impact of fatherless families on female children has received little recognition. Not only boys, but also girls react strongly to the lack of a father in their daily lives. In addition to drug and mental health problems, fatherless girls were four times more likely to conceive than teens. The presence of the father in a teenage girl’s life helps her understand a man’s thinking and the virtue of saying “no.”

Fathers often have the natural inclination and understanding to dissuade their children “cross the line.” After being harassed by their child for something they may or may not want to do, the mother often says: “I’ll tell your father if you don’t stop,” or “I’m done with it.” In either case, the child generally knows that the mother-harassing game is over.

Children learn that their father is usually harder to manipulate than their mother. The maternal instinct to love their offspring is usually stronger in a woman than in a man. Men want to be in charge and their children to listen to them. There is usually less need to be loved in a man’s nature and more need to be obeyed. Of course, concern for future negative behavior is downplayed or ignored in our current permissive society.

Today’s children have more evil temptations ahead of them, but they have had almost no training to deal with these situations. It is precisely in this naive period of upbringing that the fathers of our youth are more important than ever. Fathers must strengthen their progeny to recover from normal adversity, learn to run from temptation, and protect themselves from evil. Fathers must teach their loved ones to stay on the straight and narrow in order to be successful. The evidence is overwhelming that both boys and girls need a father figure in the home, as both parents provide their children with special skills. Both parents in the house raising the children is optimal. Marriage has become increasingly difficult to navigate with Hollywood’s ridiculous expectation of constant bliss. As with all endeavors, there are ups and downs in marriage.

Our mental health and legal systems should stop trying to facilitate divorce. Instead, our experts should do everything possible to help husbands and wives realize that their differences can be resolved by learning to forgive each and realizing that each is not perfect or blameless. The “blame game” should be stopped in counseling and in the courts. More time must be taken for the healing process between a woman and a man to realize that their children will bind them forever. The old saying “for the sake of the children” should be changed to “for the sake of the family.”

Both fathers and mothers are essential to raise healthy, normal, successful children.