I love my transgender son but I’m still struggling

I met my husband right after high school. We both went to college and seven years later we got married. I was so excited to tie the knot. To marry the man I really loved. I joked and told my friends, “I met the man from the Brady Bunch!” Because in my eyes he was perfect.

A year later after we got married and I had my first child Michael and shortly after gave birth to my two other children Alexis and Anthony. I read all those books that were given to me in the shower to teach me what to expect in the first 12 months of expectation and put them on my bookshelf. However, none of them prepared for some of the obstacles ahead.

When my youngest was about two years old, I noticed that he was different from my other two children. Now every child has their own unique personality, but this was different.

My oldest son dressed up in wondrous figures and jumped off the bed pretending to fly, but my youngest son entered my daughter’s room so he could play with her dolls and dress up her princess outfits.

When his birthday or vacation came, he would ask for dolls and wigs. My other son wanted to play flag football while doing gymnastics.

At first we said no and he fought with us until we gave in. This was who he was as a person. I knew he was gay from the moment he was a baby. However, I put it in the back of my mind because I was in denial at the time.

When he was five, he was with my mother-in-law and they were standing in front of a wishing well. She gave him a penny and told him to make a wish and he said, “I wish I could be a girl.”

I think as a mother you plan this perfect little life of your children in your head, or at least I did. They would grow up, meet a wonderful person of the opposite sex, get married and have children, I would be a grandmother and live happily ever after.

At the age of sixteen my son came to me and my husband and told us he was gay. We both told him that we love and support him. But I’m not going to lie, it was very hard for me to accept. I have nothing against gays. I realize it was so hard to accept because I painted this beautiful picture in my head of what I wanted my children’s life to be without realizing it’s not my life.

Yes, I gave birth to my son. I raised him. took care of him. I participated in all his school activities and I was there to listen to him and help him through all the obstacles he encountered. However, this is his life. I can’t tell him who to love, how to dress, and how to act. The characteristics of our child are there from the moment it is born.

This year was tough for me. I myself had many obstacles to deal with. A lot happened at once. Have you ever felt so overwhelmed with your own life that you got to a point where you feel like you can’t take it anymore? This is me now.

Now my son is now eighteen and 2 months ago he came to me and my husband and told us that he is transgender and that he wants to be a girl. I already knew because he started wearing girl’s clothes in public. He got artificial nails and eyelashes and the list goes on.

Being gay didn’t bother me that much, but when he told me that he wanted to use hormones and eventually change his body parts, it felt like a knife went through my heart. This was my little boy. The little boy I carried in my belly for 9 months. The son I raised. The name I gave him. This was the little boy I made, loved and raised. Maybe it’s selfish of me. Or maybe it’s my lack of knowledge.

Whatever the reason. It still hurts me so much. I don’t know how to deal with it.

I know he will never change as a person. That sensitive, loving, caring person will always be there, but I find it very hard to accept it.

I understand that he feels like a woman and looking in the mirror and seeing himself as a man is very hard for him to deal with but it’s very hard for me to see a boy I’m raising and put himself in a woman wants to change. of.

I know it will make him happy, but I’m having a hard time dealing with it.

He’s 18, does he really know if this is what he really wants?

Any thoughts or suggestions?

Stacey recommends

Description of the book:

“Mom, Dad – I’m transgender” In one second our lives can change forever and that’s what happens to many parents when a child “comes out” and says they are transgender. Even if you suspected there was something “different” about your child, parents still experience a multitude of conflicting feelings about how this will affect their child, themselves, their family and others in their lives. Whether your child is 5 or 50, most parents are unwilling to know what to say, what to do, or how to take care of themselves in the process of what will unfold in their lives. This book is written to make it easier for parents. Provide parents with insight and awareness to understand what happens to them when their child comes out as transgender and provide parents with direction and effective suggestions on how to deal with the many problems parents often encounter with a transgender child. Topics include dealing with sadness, denial, depression, anger, shame, and guilt. Knowing what to say to others and how to deal with resistance. How to deal with religious, cultural and social issues. Most importantly, how can parents achieve a level of acceptance and why this is essential for the parent. It emphasizes the importance of love and compassion, not only for transgender children, but especially for the parents who raise them. This book can educate not only parents but also family members, teachers, educators, clergy, counselor therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, nurses, other related health care professionals, and anyone who loves a transgender person.