Liberal Party convenes crisis meeting after census shows 1 in 2 Australians are women

The Liberal Party has been completely taken aback by the census data released this week, which showed that Australia’s female population is more than three times the party’s previously thought.

“We’ve been working with a 10-15% hiring of women in the population for the past nine years — this has surprised everyone,” said a senior strategist dressed in a high-vis vest who was driving a dump truck.

He said party members were shocked at how quickly Australia had changed since the election. “Before the election, Australia’s makeup was very clear: 60% tradies, 20% footballers, 10% women and 10% gay Marxists. I’m not sure how the country’s demographics have changed so quickly.”

Opposition leader Peter Dutton said it was clear where the blame lay. ‘That’s Labor for you. They have been in power for five weeks and suddenly the country is falling apart.”

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