Machine gun Kelly boldly detailed a dark moment in his life in his new documentary, Life in pink†
In the Hulu film, the singer and actor — real name Colson Baker — said he was so distraught over his father’s death in 2020 that he considered committing suicide.
“I didn’t want to leave my room and I started to get very, very, very dark,” Kelly recalls in the doco, adding that he also experienced feelings of “wild paranoia” and was convinced “someone would come and kill me.” “. Watch the trailer above.
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It was so upsetting for the 32-year-old that he slept with a shotgun next to his bed, which was a bad idea as one day he just snapped during a phone call to his now fiancé, actress. Megan Foxwho was filming a movie in Bulgaria at the time.
“I was like, ‘You’re not here for me.’ I’m in my room and I love her,” Kelly recalled. “Dude, I’m putting the gun in my mouth. And I yell on the phone and, like, the barrel is in my mouth. And I’m going to cock the gun and the bullet, when it comes back up, the grenade just jams. Megan is dead silent.’
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After the scray incident, Kelly realized “something isn’t right” and it was Fox and his 12-year-old daughter, Casie, who prompted him to seek professional help.
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†[They said]’I want to see you as my father’ and ‘I want to see you as my husband-to-be’, and I thought, ‘I really need to get off the drugs this time,’ Kelly shared.
That same year, the musician entered rehab for substance abuse and mental health problems, saying: Interview magazine at the time he was “taking steps” in his recovery.
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“Right now, my medicine of choice is happiness and dedication to the art, rather than dedication to a vice I thought made the art,” he told the magazine in November 2020.
“Last Thursday I had my first therapy session. That’s the first time I’ve said, ‘Hey, I need to separate these two people,’ Machine Gun Kelly and Colson Baker. The dichotomy is too intense for me.”
If you or someone you know needs immediate support, please contact Lifeline at 13 11 14 or at lifeline.org.au† In an emergency, call 000.
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