There’s no team that more embodies than the Warriors that you want to shut down your Playstation and slam your controller against the wall.
They are everyone’s favorite team on NBA 2K, who, of course, is not a Lebron acolyte?and it’s very hard to get Steph Curry and Co. to control if you are not an NBA coach smart enough to make adjustments against guys playing video games with an open bag of Cheetos and a paper towel within reach.
If Curry doesn’t open then it’s Andrew Wiggins, Klay Thompson or Jordan Poole launching a 3 with your little digital player so far away that it bounces back when you hit triangle to contest the shot. By the middle of the third quarter, just like in real life, it’s a shooting clinic and the lead rises to the point where you wonder if the XP is worth the aggravation. It’s even more disturbing that you can’t call bullshit on how unrealistic it is, as is the case when other teams erupt for bottomless 3s within the span of four five-minute quarters.
In the end you yell at the TV, “Cool, bro, you chose the damn Warriors!” followed by another stream of profanity and the creaking of plastic hitting drywall.
However, it’s Golden State’s ability to make professional NBA defenses look amateurish in real life that is so impressive. The Celtics are a great team defensively but left poor Al Horford on an island against Curry in the fourth quarter as Ime Udoka tipped over on the sidelines and squeezed the sticks so tight you think he could just break them in half .
The preferred defense of 2K is to select your big man and be in the paint to fight dunk attempts, so it’s not uncommon to see the smarter brother of that strategy used by NBA coaches against the Warriors. to take advantage of Draymond Green’s lack of shooting. And at that point it always seems like a good idea.
The little two-man action Curry and Green are taking to counter it is so clever that gamers and NBA teams alike have copied it. It’s not so much a play as it is a game of staying away, with Green playing the part of “a big kid who keeps the ball out of reach of a little kid”, ending with Curry bending over/back and forth a lot to an open 3 as Robert Williams is in the paint.
The biggest glitch was undoubtedly Wiggins, who performed a fatality on Jayson Tatum’s Finals. He ripped the soul from the Celtics star, holding him to 13 points in Game 6, with only 2 points in the second half. Time and again it looked like user error when Tatum’s drives ended in a rescue pass, an awkward intermission, or a turnover.
However, to say that the former Timberwolf lacked the physical attributes—as his athletic ratings are not those of an extremely athletic 6-foot-7 No. 1 overall choice – to be a defense stopper when controlled by skilled thumbs would be the eye-catching programming oversight. (If you’re wondering if I mean Minnesota is run by the equivalent of a kid who has yet to learn button layout — yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.)
We’ve all been there, Boston, and the battle the C’s fought against the Final Boss was admirable. The worst part is that there is no reset button or progress to reload. Restarting after logging for hours when pursuing a fake goal is the damn worst thing, so I can’t imagine what it’s like when you’ve devoted your entire life to beating the game and there’s no easier setting.
Unfortunately, the Warriors don’t know how to play on any difficulty other than Hall of Fame, and that lends itself to the constant, “Fuck you, computer!” moments. There were a few in the TD Garden on Thursday night. Any of the three Curry gestured to would have made me leave. (Please don’t add the sleepy time and fourth ring finger pointing celebration animations to 2K23. Boston fans don’t need to be digitally taunted, either.)
However, the particular moment I think of was when Green hit that jumper late in the shot clock in the second half. The one who made Jeff Van Gundy admit that Draymond felt it. Then I would have broken something if it was 2K.