Thursday would be Shaedon Sharpe Day for Trail Blazers fans and Shaedon Sharpe. He had to be given the opportunity to display the skills that were hidden during his solitary year (free) in Kentucky. This was his chance to tap his performance as he polishes an open case of Capri Sun†
The 19-year-old from London, Canada, barely got the car into gear before having to knock it out, leaving the field with a shoulder injury after just six minutes of action. He went 1-3, had two points and a turnover.
However, his debut was ruined earlier in the day in the form of a New York Post story about (hopefully) interim Blazers owner Jody Allen and her alleged “toxic” workplace. It pulled skeletons out of the closet, including literal giraffe and penguin skeletons that it had smuggled from Africa and Antarctica, respectively. The Post article also focused on Daniel Snyder-type sexual harassment allegations, saying that Allen had her security detail model “European-cut swimsuit” in a fashion show. The case was settled before it went to trial in 2013, and Allen’s lawyers insist the allegations are false.
The Post’s source, Nike executive Larry Miller, also said: “It’s time for a change of ownership. Stable, solid good ownership is what leads to winning, you can’t win if you don’t have solid, consistent, reliable ownership. Portland has I certainly haven’t had that since Paul passed away.”
It’s bizarre how quickly the workplace was exposed as dysfunctional after Allen’s reprimand of a $2 billion bid for the team by an ownership group led by Nike owner Phil Knight. Billionaires fighting in the media is what succession-type shit but much less entertaining.
The internet would never recover if it was subjected to a TikTok of Jody and Phil playing on the floor. Looks like both tycoons would lose if all their secrets spilled over the tablecloth like a grotesque crawfish boil, so I don’t see Knight cutting off his attack on Allen and getting him closer to the owner’s box.
There are other juicy tidbits like Allen reportedly not answering Damian Lillard’s phone calls or emails, and that the current dynamic duo leading the Blazers—Allen and her right-hand man moron Bert Kolde—will delay the sale of the team for so long. if possible. possible.
Former owner Paul Allen, who died of cancer in 2018, ordered his trust to be liquidated after his death to further his philanthropic passions, and longtime Portland sportswriter John Canzano reported that “there isn’t much leeway” for JodyPaul’s sister, to sell not only the NBA franchise, but also the NFL franchise, the Seattle Seahawks.
I mentioned earlier this week that Jody said neither team is for sale yet. She left a statement partially reading†[…] estates of this size and complexity can take 10 to 20 years to complete. There is no predetermined timeline within which the teams must be sold.”
Well, that’s encouraging. In fact, she comes across as defiant as John Dutton, refusing to budge even an inch on the thousands of acres of Yellowstone Ranch. Jody is also the head of the Paul Allen trust, which has billions of dollars in other assets that can be sold before she has nothing left to “settle” except for the two beloved sports teams that are currently being driven into the goddamn dirt.
Former Blazers GM Neil Olshey was kicked out of the front office for doing a bad job and generally being an asshole, which is grounds for dismissal these days. If Jody is as horrible as every picture in that Post story let her watch, she should follow Olshey’s grease trail from the parking lot. If past seasons under her leadership are any indication, it will take her less than 10 to 20 years to do irreparable damage to Rose City’s favorite professional sports team. (For what it’s worth, Knight’s photos weren’t much better. I mean, woof, that’s a lot of filler†
If Jody needs help selling the trust’s assets, enlist Olshey’s successor Joe Cronin. He managed to clear an entire NBA roster in record time, except for three players. Also got 70 percent of the asking price.
Frankly, this feels like just the beginning of a long arduous process that ends with a non-Knight billionaire buying a malnourished team that gets plucked from the lottery in Year 12.
I like to picture Jody sitting on a yacht Thursday night, after a long day of stressful Chippendales bathing suits and yelling at yes men to find dirt on Knight, hoping the Blazers’ Summer League game offers some relief. . Only to start knocking on remotes, potions, whatever is within reach of several assistants after the number 7 pick left with an injury.
I prefer to dwell on that hypothetical because it’s a funny image, but also because my daydream – Shaedon Sharpe Day – also only lasted six minutes. Sell the team, Jody, and get back to doing what billionaires do when they don’t ruin sports franchises.